Relationship Abuse

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Edited in Photoshop by Esther Maris
DISCLAIMER: This post contains personal opinions and research based facts. Grammatical errors and other reactions are highly appreciated. All Photos are copyright free.

The perception of other people about the word "abuse" has come to my attention. I was surprised when some of the people I know stated that abuse is only present in a relationship when the guy hits a woman. If he's not hitting you, you're not abused. (Are you f@3!**ng kidding me?) I didn't know what to say. As much as I want to argue, I decided that I should read and write about it instead of dwelling into an argument. 

"Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time."  - stoprelationshipabuse.org

With that said, abuse does not only involve physical contact. It includes words and gestures that can humiliate or intimidate you. It can also be:
  • Emotional - insults or humiliations, etc.
  • Financial - controlling or using of money and not letting the partner spend without consent.
  • Sexual - treating the partner as a sexual object and the decision of having sex is only based on the abuser.
Here's a video you can check:
 
source: One Love Foundation
It can be seen that the girl was not physically hurt, but her partner would break things in front of her (throwing an object, smashing things, etc.) Others may say that it's better that way (that he breaks things instead of hurting her) HELL NO. If that situation happens all the time, it's not okay. The guy would break things in front of her to show dominance - to make her think that if she will not follow his orders, more things will be broken. That's a portrayal of CONTROL and POWER.

I remember the last time when friend laughed at me as I told others that I used to be in an abusive relationship. "He hardly even hit you, it was only once" - she said. But she knew how I was often humiliated in public by my former partner. He would throw my school stuff away, he would point a finger on my head and scream insults at me - all of these happened in front of my friends, his friends and strangers. Those experiences affected my self-esteem. I became more anxious and I started to disconnect from others.

A wound, bruise or scar aren't needed to prove an abuse. 

Another thing to consider is that MEN or GUYS can be VICTIMS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. Some experience being hit, belittled, manipulated and humiliated by their own partner. That is unacceptable. Men have the same feelings as women.

No one is exempted from this issue, anyone can be abused.

If you, or you know someone who can be possible victims of abuse, here are

QUESTIONS TO ASK:
Does your partner respect your opinion?
Does your partner let you have your own space when you ask for it?
Does your partner support you in your career endeavors?
Does your partner allow you to make your own decisions?
Does your partner listen to your side when conflict arise? 

Think about it. Think about the type of relationship you really deserve.

Having a relationship is an act of love. 
You deserve someone who will not hit you.
You deserve someone who will treat you fairly. 
You deserve someone who will not make fun of your dreams.
You deserve someone who will support you with your passion.
You deserve someone who will listen to your side. 
You deserve someone who is sincere with his/her apology. 
You deserve someone who will not insult you (whether in public or private)- there's a difference between a joke and an insult.
You deserve someone who is sensitive of your emotions.
You deserve someone who will not control you.
You deserve someone who will not treat you like a sexual object.
A relationship is never perfect, but as long as respect, understanding and love is present, it can conquer all problems.

Thank you for reading!

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4 comments

  1. ��������amazing darling. Maka relate mnsad tag laytch :) char ra hehe.

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    1. Thank you for reading darling! :) Amay ka relate jud? Why man na!

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  2. This is a great eye-opener, Bii. Something worth writing about to spread awareness. I hope this opens eyes of people who are unknowingly in abusive relationships. :)

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    1. Awww you're the sweetest bii. Thank you :)

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