A THIRD PARTY's PERSPECTIVE

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

"A relationship is like a boat.. too many passengers would cause it to sink."
-anonymous

Recently when I opened my mail. The usual messages that I received from my blog readers are - "Are you alive Esther?" nyahaha! Sorry dearies working and studying at the same time gave me limited time to blog. But no worries because I'm here!!! And this time.. I have all the courage to make this blogpost since I received one anonymous mail.

"Hi Esther, I read that you are gud in making advices but.. What will you do if you're the mistress?"
-thanks, pinkywincle

So I don't know if she is a stalker of mine or what but the thing here is I've been in this situation. Dont worry, we aren't seeing each other anymore. I gathered all of my strength because I don't want to end up eating my own words, I don't like giving an advice when in fact I cant do it myself.
PHOTOSOURCE: fashionandhappify
First, let's understand the situation
THE GUY: To be honest, and even my dad admits it. Guys by nature are flirty. They tend to be sweet to their friends with no malice but they tend to be more flirty to those girls who are willing (like open legs & arms). When I asked him (yes I did) why he's doing this is because first - he wants to have fun, we are both young and being too serious is boring. See? But at the end of the day he would still go home to his queen - the original girlfriend.

THE MISTRESS: the second, the keychain, the slut, the hoe. the triangle. the reason why two people who love each other becomes single. But lets not have this kind of prejudice because we don't know the whole story. (in my situation, the first time we met, I had no idea he was taken. so lesson learned, get to know someone first.)

THE GIRLFRIEND: Some are innocent. Some have an idea. Some have instincts. Some don't care. But take note, they have the RIGHT.

WHAT TO DO: (List it down!)
AVOID
-Quit communications even though he still do. I experienced having a hard time resisting his texts to see me that is why it lasted for 6 months. dammit. So as much as possible, to prevent attachment which will lead to more conflict. Get the hell out of  his life. Never let anything unworthy last.
SAY NO - NO TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM
-Let's see he broke up with his girlfriend and he chose you. What makes you think that he can't cheat with you again? You have a brain girl.
ADMIT - DON'T BE DENIAL STUPID
-Once the girlfriend confront you, stop acting like a strong fierce lion - hello, you are not the original owner. If you will fight with her, you'd still end up being the loser. Accept the insults, she has all the right to say that. Just let it pass. She's hurt with what you both did. That is why I don't get this stupid films who have scenes of the girlfriend and other woman fighting like cats and dogs.
APOLOGIZE 
-No matter what intentions you had, you still wronged somebody and even you didn't start it, be sincere that you're sorry. You never know what its like to be on the girlfriend's feet.
FORGIVE 
-This is important because forgiveness here is for yourself. Don't think you're someone who should be burned in hell unless if you want to do it again bitch.
LEARN
-Take that experience as a BIG LESSON for your next dating relationship.

You need not to hate yourself because of this, especially if you were able to remove yourself from the situation. On my part, that time was hard because I was falling for him but I had to, I just had to. I don't want to spend the night thinking of guilt, I don't want to be with a guy who can't make me his first priority. I don't want to be a booty call. I want to be in a relationship. I don't want to be in a casual relationship that can't help me become a better person.

So if you're asking how I am now, well HAPPY with my lesbian lovers (girlfriends ;>) and we lost contact which is good! It takes time to heal but what's important is you know how to love and RESPECT yourself. Remember, you are not an option. :*

But if you still want tips on how to move on in case you're hardheaded - here's my link on how to move on click HERE

So that's all! If you have anything to add..comment below!
Peace out!
XOXO -esthermaris! :*
(ad: Follow me on instagram! @itsesthermaris I FOLLOW BACK :D)

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1 comments

  1. Been there, done that. At first it was fun. You would really think you're important to him because he/she can ditch the first one for you but the guilt will eat you and you realize, it's not worth it. :)

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